If I don’t post something soon I should probably turn this into a craft blog.

May 26, 2009 at 4:41 pm (Exorcising Demons, Family Foolery, Monkey Business, Oh Hell No, Sassy Saturday) (, , , , , )

Hells bells and cocker spaniels.  Ok, fine, whatever, I’ll get off my lazy ass and post as I don’t want to be responsible for anyone dying on my blog.

Ms. Drill came to visit over the weekend. Not sure if I have security clearance so I can’t say what it is but she brought her new car… ooohhhh is it drool worthy! So much so that I had to name mine Clyde cuz that’s about what mine looks like in comparison.

In other news, we went out Saturday night and tore it up. We had a final destination in mind but after a couple of beers and a shot of tequila… as she put it, “our asses grew roots to the stools” we were sitting in. Turns out we knew the band and decided to hang there and get people dancing, which we did.  She was smarter than me though, she didn’t chance that second shot of tequila but I did. Then there was this guy, who whenever he came up to the bar would smile at me and by then I was starting to feel a bit brave and two certain people kept telling me to go talk to him so I did, only to find out the woman he was with was hidden by the popcorn machine. So as I approach I’m all like… ah fuck, how do I get out of this gracefully… so I kinda just walked around them and made a beeline for some other guy at the bar and started talking to him. Yeah, I’m real smooth like that. It’s a good thing I don’t do this kind of thing often, I’m sure my humiliation of the evening will keep me from attempting any more shots for a while.

To say we felt a bit fuzzy the next day would be an understatement and fortunately we only had a family cookout to attend. I was good and earlier in the day only had two beers, you know, to take the edge off. We came back home and settled in to watch Breaking Bad and both of us were a bit unsettled by the ending scene. The next day a friend called me to tell me that one of his friends’ daughter had died a few days ago from the same thing (OD’d) and a guy he worked with died on Sunday in a bike accident. Fuck.

So that was our weekend… how was yours?

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You know how you plan on cleaning one small thing and then the next thing you know eight hours have gone by?

May 9, 2009 at 9:34 pm (Cleaning Fairies, Exorcising Demons, Sassy Saturday) (, , , )

Yeah, that was my day. I went out into the garage to clean up one very small area but then it was like I was attacked by cleaning fairies and next thing I know it’s 8:00 pm, only no fairies actually showed up to clean… the bitches left it all to me.  I have cabinets in my garage and honestly I had no clue what was in most of them.  In order to prepare for painting season I needed to organize my painting supplies. To my surprise I found that I have about 15 roller handles and a dozen new rollers, 5 paint trays, 5 paint clothes, 50,000 paint stirrers, 5 or so edgers, etc., etc., etc.

As I was cleaning I found multiples of multiples. At one time I believe Mr. Fuckery was somewhat organized but you would never know it. So apparently when he couldn’t find something, because it was shoved in a bag or box somewhere and then placed in an obscure location, he would just go buy another.  I’m fairly certain I will never have to buy tire or leather cleaner, remote start systems for cars (I found 3), computer cables (I found 100’s… seriously… most of which were tossed out), extension cords or scrub brushes.

In my desire for order I took everything off the pegboards, little hanging doohickeys as well, and started putting things back up in an order that makes sense. All 6 rolls of electrical tape, 2 rolls duct tape, 2 rolls packing tape, 4 rolls double sided tape, and tapes that I have no idea what they’re used for, are all now in a neat and orderly fashion. I got out my black sharpie and then proceeded to outline those babies and now there’s no mistaking where they reside. Kidding, I’m a bit of a freak but not that freaky.

Next up… guest room, I have company coming soon and it looks like it’s been in the middle of a shiticane!

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

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If We Don’t All Die From the Flu, We’ll Probably Starve to Death

May 1, 2009 at 9:14 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , , , )

Oh Hell No.

To quote the great philosopher JDrill:

Don’t worry so much about the flu, worry about what they are hiding. Using a big pig scare to keep the sheep busy. Look the sky is falling.

You know there’s something else going on that’s bigger than the flu, possibly the whole Paki-Tali thing. Being lazy and becoming bored easily, I only keep half-assed abreast of the news but from what I have gathered that whole situation does not look good. 

I have a bigger news theory but there’s no way I’m posting it. It would be just my luck it spreads like wild fire around the internet then I get a knock at the door and am taken away to never again see the light of day. Hey, don’t laugh at my somewhat paranoid ass, crazier shit has happened in my life and I’ve learned to expect anything and everything.

In a very nearby city they have closed their entire school district until further notice because someone “affliated” with the district has a suspected case of the Oh Hell1No1 flu. From what I understand, schools are being recommended to close for two weeks. I just don’t see how these logistics are going to work because you know damn well people will still go to work, send their kids to daycare if it’s open, get on public transportation, etc., only to send the virus back to the schools when they reopen. Seriously, people can’t even cover their coughs with their shirt, cough into their elbow or not use your phone in an office when they’re sick.

So I play nice and follow the rules and Mr. Wonderful and I stay home, how the hell am I going to cope with that? I love my kid dearly but to be housebound with a bored child for two weeks… somebody better send some damn good somethin’ this way. Then there’s the whole I need to go to work to make money so I can buy food and pay my bills. See what I mean, if the flu doesn’t kill us we will all starve to death because we’ll have no money for food, everything will be closed or just the fear of leaving your damn house will be too much. YiYiYi!

Hell the flu I had a two weeks ago might have been Oh Hell1No1 for all I know, there’s been a lot of flu going around this area the past few weeks. How are they distinguishing it? Are they sending out people in hazmat suits to take saliva samples?

It boggles my mind at how quickly this situation has exploded. Even though I stated I was firing the media, it’s kinda like a soap opera and I can’t wait to tune in tomorrow to see what the news brings.

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