I’m such a dork

July 24, 2009 at 4:18 pm (Garage of Gloom, Oh Hell No) (, , , , )

In what appears to be my perpetual garage sale (my neighbor wanted to have it again this weekend), I met a Bering Sea fisherman!  His wife was looking at this key case that has sailors knots on the front of it and she told me her husband could tie all the knots, I asked if he was a sailor. That led into the conversation that he is an Inupiat Indian and was a fisherman and so I asked him if he fished the Bering Sea and he said yeah, for 21 years. I’m so easily entertained… you would think I met Sig, Keith, or Phil or something.

Mr. Wonderful wants food, guess I better go cook. Back soon.

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I am a killer of cute little chipmunks and rabbits, box wine for the bitches, and I no longer handle stress very well

July 7, 2009 at 2:19 pm (Exorcising Demons, Monkey Business, Sassy Saturday) (, , , , , , )

Last week Mr. Wonderful was weeding over by the pond and yells, “mom, there are two dead chipmunks in the pond!” Sure enough there was, not like he would make that shit up but I was surprised. Though I do have chipmunks that live behind the pond I have never harbored dead chipmunks. After securing the crime scene I properly disposed of them (that is if properly disposing of them is picking them up with the pooper scooper and putting them in the weed trash can). Later I was talking to a friend who is pretty sure I am not a chipmunk killer and said that they must have gotten a hold of some poision and then when they went to drink out of the pond their stomachs blew up or some shit and fell in. Poor little guys. My blog might be called Poison’s Aftertaste but it has nothing to do with me poisioning anything, especially little wild pets.

JDrill is visiting for the week so now I have four doggies at my house. I’m certain that by the weeks end one of us will trip over one and break a hip. And it has now been determinded that my dog has lost his mind but I’m not sure why. More as the story develops. UPDATE: I now have five dogs at the house… JDrill’s boyfriend is over with his dog.

This morning I’m trying to get out the door for work and I’m standing on the deck saying goodbye to my company and next thing I hear is, “shit! Dog #3 has a rabbit!” (we have to count them like kids to make sure they are all accounted for… starting to feel a bit like Kate + 8 – Jon) Thank God her boyfriend was still here cuz we both yell, “dude… handle it!” I can scoop up a chipmunk with a pooper scooper but I can’t handle an almost dead rabbit. Turns out this was an already injured rabbit, car injury but man am I skeeved out right now with all the critters goin’ down in my yard.

Saturday night on our way out to the ho-down my neighbor text me and wanted to know if she could drop off her two dogs since she wouldn’t be home. Are you fucking kidding me!!! My dog freaks over fireworks so I already had to tranquilize him, two are fine with them and the other is deaf so obviously they don’t bother her. Though we never got to why I needed to watch her two dogs I seem to recall they don’t like fireworks either. She probably thought I was lying when I told her I was on my way out the door and already had 4 at my house.

We made it to the party Saturday night. It was on a river front property and not far from the city’s firework display so we had a good view for them. The group of people who attended were not my usual peeps but JDrill and I can roll with anyone and so we did. It was interesting to say the least and there was box wine for the bitches.  Enough said.

Tomorrow I will be busy setting up for a garage sale.  Nothing more fun then having a bunch yahoos traipsing all over your property, trying to steal or haggle over the price of almost free shit. Good times.

I’ve been trying to get this posted for two days so that’s it, I’m done, for now. Certaintly more hilarity to ensue this week so until then, toodle loo.

P.S. There may be many misspellings (including this word, I’m not sure). For one: we all have our words we jack up, two: full disclosure here… I took a Soma to relax my overstressed self.  Hey, I’m desperate and have no Xanax only dog tranquilizers. I’ve tried to spell check twice, on two different computers, both times it locks up.

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I don’t need to be fishing next to some knuckle-head

July 1, 2009 at 8:47 pm (Could I Be Any More Boring?, Garage of Gloom, Monkey Business) (, , , , , )

I haven’t abandoned the blog, just been very very busy, don’t bother me. JDrill is coming to visit for a week, I have the hiccups, a garage sale is about to commence, there’s a ho-down to attend this weekend, I’m dog sitting a deaf and blind dog that I have to watch like a shit hawk or she eats her own poop, it’s the Deadliest Catch season, and there are weeds that need to be pulled.

I’ll be back when I have a few extra minutes.

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