We’re in the eye of a shiticane here Julian

October 29, 2010 at 8:28 am (Friday Soap Box, Oh Hell No) (, , , , , , )

The past few days we were experiencing a shitsunami. Pulling into my subdivision I noticed my friend’s house had some shingles blown up but not off. Started looking around and noticed other houses had loose shingles and then got to my house and noticed a section about 3′ x 2′ missing shingles. Fuck.

This house is 12 years old so this is a single layer roof and I have no idea what to do. I don’t think it will be worth an insurance claim because of the deductible so I guess I’m going to have to see if I have some extra shingles in the shed and climb my ass up on the roof and fix it. Ha! I’m pretty handy with duct tape, gorilla glue, and rubber bands but if memory serves me right this job will call for nails and a hammer.  Is there anything else you have to use? The layer of whatever it is that covers the wood is still there so that’s good. So if you happen to be in the neighborhood and see a chick on a roof it might make for a good YouTube video cuz this shit is going to be ridiculous.

In other busted shit news I’m trying to ascertain what’s going on with my furnace. I’m leaning towards needing a new thermostat and hopefully I can find the same model so I can plug it into the existing mount. It will suddenly drop temperature in here and then when I go and restart the pilot then it will start working again only to eventually wig out. I woke up this morning and it was 68° and so I did the restart thing and set the thermostat to 73° (higher than I usually set it) and now it seems to be working fine again.

Just talked to my repair guy and he concurs, it’s probably my thermostat. If plugging the new one into the mount doesn’t work he said he will come over and replace the mount. I’m feeling kinda smartypants having diagnosed this all by my girl self!

Being a homeowner is a pain in the ass. It would be nice if life would throw me a bone and let things break when I actually have a man here to fix them.

Today’s agenda is Target, PetsMart, Home Depot, tonight pumpkin carving, Saturday hair day for Mr. Wonderful and my mom, Sunday trick-or-treating. I can hardly contain my excitement.

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If We Don’t All Die From the Flu, We’ll Probably Starve to Death

May 1, 2009 at 9:14 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , , , )

Oh Hell No.

To quote the great philosopher JDrill:

Don’t worry so much about the flu, worry about what they are hiding. Using a big pig scare to keep the sheep busy. Look the sky is falling.

You know there’s something else going on that’s bigger than the flu, possibly the whole Paki-Tali thing. Being lazy and becoming bored easily, I only keep half-assed abreast of the news but from what I have gathered that whole situation does not look good. 

I have a bigger news theory but there’s no way I’m posting it. It would be just my luck it spreads like wild fire around the internet then I get a knock at the door and am taken away to never again see the light of day. Hey, don’t laugh at my somewhat paranoid ass, crazier shit has happened in my life and I’ve learned to expect anything and everything.

In a very nearby city they have closed their entire school district until further notice because someone “affliated” with the district has a suspected case of the Oh Hell1No1 flu. From what I understand, schools are being recommended to close for two weeks. I just don’t see how these logistics are going to work because you know damn well people will still go to work, send their kids to daycare if it’s open, get on public transportation, etc., only to send the virus back to the schools when they reopen. Seriously, people can’t even cover their coughs with their shirt, cough into their elbow or not use your phone in an office when they’re sick.

So I play nice and follow the rules and Mr. Wonderful and I stay home, how the hell am I going to cope with that? I love my kid dearly but to be housebound with a bored child for two weeks… somebody better send some damn good somethin’ this way. Then there’s the whole I need to go to work to make money so I can buy food and pay my bills. See what I mean, if the flu doesn’t kill us we will all starve to death because we’ll have no money for food, everything will be closed or just the fear of leaving your damn house will be too much. YiYiYi!

Hell the flu I had a two weeks ago might have been Oh Hell1No1 for all I know, there’s been a lot of flu going around this area the past few weeks. How are they distinguishing it? Are they sending out people in hazmat suits to take saliva samples?

It boggles my mind at how quickly this situation has exploded. Even though I stated I was firing the media, it’s kinda like a soap opera and I can’t wait to tune in tomorrow to see what the news brings.

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Friday Edition of Dreams and Dead

April 24, 2009 at 9:32 pm (Exorcising Demons, Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , , , )

Death’s been on my mind a lot lately. The psychic Ms. Drill had a dream about an elaborate Saprano-like funeral and cuz we know how she is, when relaying the dream to me said, I wonder who’s going to die. A few days later I had a dream, yet again, that Mr. Fuckery was back from the dead and trying to tell me the mistakes I’ve made this past year and a half and what needed to change. The next day my sister called to tell me her dad died.

Periodically I have these dreams where he comes in like nothing has happened and tries to pick up life where he left off and I’m all like, are you fucking kidding me? I let him go on for a while and eventually have to tell him he’s dead but before I can get his reaction I always wake up.

There’s a blog I read where a woman, who very much loved her husband, lost him recently to a terminal illness. I read her blog and sometimes feel bad that I don’t feel those emotions of a love that’s lost. We’re suppose to mourn those we lose, it’s like a law or something, but mostly what I feel is indifference. I can empathize with the feelings of being overwhelmed, feeling alone, etc., but I can’t really relate to the rest.

At one point I did love him but the last couple of years he was alive he made sure to destroy that love. And during those last couple of years I was already grieving the loss of my marriage so I guess I had some of the grief already behind me.

As far as the dreams… when someone takes their life it raises many questions that can never be answered, especially when you never saw it coming. I expected a lot of things from him but that wasn’t one of them so it leaves things open ended and I assume that’s why I have these dreams. But most days the questions don’t bother me and as time goes on just becomes more of a curiosity.

Hell I don’t even know what my point is here but I do know that grief has been replaced with just living, learning to depend on no one but myself, and giving my son and me the life we deserve.

Did I hear you say my time is up?  Don’t even think about billing me.

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More Friday Soapbox

April 3, 2009 at 6:58 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , )

Mr. Wonderful and I had to run an errand to pick up some essentials. We headed for the dreaded Walmartssssss, God I hate that store but you know, it’s in the hood. And while I’m on the subject… why do the elderlysss always call it Walmartssss? My mother does this and it drives me crazy, that and she calls herextra-strength” pills “Vicodent.”  MOM, for the love of pharmacist, KNOW YOUR DOSES… KNOW YOUR DOPE!

So we’re getting the essentials, Easter candy, furnace filters, shoe polish, you know the usuals and I head over to the area by checkout to pick up some bags of salt for the water softener. There’s this 30 something man standing/leaning on the salt bags and he’s texting or some shit.  I walk up and then start trying to heave these 40 pound bags of salt into my cart (Mr. Wonderful isn’t strong enough to handle the job yet). Man Ass didn’t even look up. Of course if he had then I guess that would have been an acknowledgment that my delicate little ass is struggling and maybe he should show some chivalry and help me out but no, he continued to play with his phone. If I was in his position I would have insisted on helping. I should have let one of the bags fall on his foot. Bastard. What is wrong with people?

Yeah, I got the bags in the cart with no problem really… I am woman hear me roar… whatever. I’m getting very use to having to lift and fix things that typically would be “mens’ work” but it would be nice, once in a while, if I just didn’t have to.

*****

Now to report on something good, I thought I would share an experience I had at pharmacy one day. I was standing in line to check out my 2 for 1 mineral powder deal, woot!, and there was this very clean cut, high school age, brother and sister trying to check out. Their purchase was 19 and some change but their debit card wasn’t going through. The brother says to the sister, “mom said she put money in the account yesterday.” He then tells the clerk sorry but they will have to come back. The next man in line said, “don’t worry about it kids, I got this.” They thanked him but said no they couldn’t accept his generosity. He insisted saying that he had plenty of money and he would really like to help them out and with that he handed the clerk a 20 dollar bill.

Now that was cool to witness.

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Friday Edition

April 3, 2009 at 2:59 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , )

So last night I decided to introduce Mr. Wonderful to the delights of Wendy’s. As with most kids, Mr. Wonderful been pretty well stuck on those damn Happy Meals and just recently decided to be a little adventurous and try Subway, to which he discovered suited his palette well. So last night I thought I would introduce him to the delights of Wendy’s. I hadn’t been there for a long time and was surprised to find that it was an additional $.40 for the damn cheese.  I suppose since it’s called a Single and not Cheeseburger I should have had a clue but I didn’t so ok, I dealt.

Where I live has three cities that are connected and I live in one of the burbs which is right on the edge of the main city. Usually I stay on my side of town which translates into not crossing the intersection into “the city.” Anyway, last night I decided that I would take us on a whirlwind adventure and cross that intersection so we could go to Wendy’s (there is a point here… I’m getting to it, honestly.) So I get the food, travel back to the burbs and come home to eat. As I’m sitting here eating I’m looking at the receipt because there was an issue with the frosties. I glance down and notice the tax is $.93 and I think, WTF, that seems high. Since I’m already pissed about the cheese and the frosty I get my calculator out and calculate what the tax rate is. Turns out the tax rate in the city is 9.25%. I happen to have a receipt in my car from KFC which is across the street, and in the burbs, so I calculate their tax and it is 7.25%.  Sure it’s only 2% but it’s the principal and I am so sick of getting taxed to death on everything. If I wasn’t so lazy I would calculate how much of our dollar we actually get to keep these days… I’m certain it’s maybe $.25… on a good day.

So that’s my rant for the day, I feel better now.

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Friday Soap Box

February 27, 2009 at 5:47 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , )

I’m done with the media, I can’t take any more of their negativity. I wish it were true that one person can make a difference, I would be all over their asses and demand change in their reporting. Why oh why can’t they do their job in this era of Hope and Change and go find some HOPEFUL newsy things to report on? Has it occurred to any of the powers in charge that perhaps they are a big part of the problem with the depressing state of things? Granted we don’t want to be in the dark here but damn, people need to start hearing some good news for a change so we can maybe feel a little bit of hope.

So I’ve heard it reported around blogland that there is a shortage on ammo, damn me and my procrastination! Now that scares me. I’m certain that Mr. Hope and Change will do his best to make sure I don’t get any either. And then when the media finally decides to report on something positive like there’s still one person with food in their refrigerator, me,  I will have a limited number of rounds to take out the people trying to break into my house and steal my food.

Best blog tagline ever:

they took all my change I was gonna buy hope with, dammit.

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