We’re in the eye of a shiticane here Julian

October 29, 2010 at 8:28 am (Friday Soap Box, Oh Hell No) (, , , , , , )

The past few days we were experiencing a shitsunami. Pulling into my subdivision I noticed my friend’s house had some shingles blown up but not off. Started looking around and noticed other houses had loose shingles and then got to my house and noticed a section about 3′ x 2′ missing shingles. Fuck.

This house is 12 years old so this is a single layer roof and I have no idea what to do. I don’t think it will be worth an insurance claim because of the deductible so I guess I’m going to have to see if I have some extra shingles in the shed and climb my ass up on the roof and fix it. Ha! I’m pretty handy with duct tape, gorilla glue, and rubber bands but if memory serves me right this job will call for nails and a hammer.  Is there anything else you have to use? The layer of whatever it is that covers the wood is still there so that’s good. So if you happen to be in the neighborhood and see a chick on a roof it might make for a good YouTube video cuz this shit is going to be ridiculous.

In other busted shit news I’m trying to ascertain what’s going on with my furnace. I’m leaning towards needing a new thermostat and hopefully I can find the same model so I can plug it into the existing mount. It will suddenly drop temperature in here and then when I go and restart the pilot then it will start working again only to eventually wig out. I woke up this morning and it was 68° and so I did the restart thing and set the thermostat to 73° (higher than I usually set it) and now it seems to be working fine again.

Just talked to my repair guy and he concurs, it’s probably my thermostat. If plugging the new one into the mount doesn’t work he said he will come over and replace the mount. I’m feeling kinda smartypants having diagnosed this all by my girl self!

Being a homeowner is a pain in the ass. It would be nice if life would throw me a bone and let things break when I actually have a man here to fix them.

Today’s agenda is Target, PetsMart, Home Depot, tonight pumpkin carving, Saturday hair day for Mr. Wonderful and my mom, Sunday trick-or-treating. I can hardly contain my excitement.

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I am not ready for this.

December 8, 2009 at 4:28 pm (Oh Hell No) (, , , , )

My local forecast: 9-14 inches of snow by tomorrow, then 40+ mph winds. Good times. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow afternoon send for help, it means I’m buried alive in a snow drift with a running snow blower threatening to eat me.

UPDATE: Round 1 of snow blowing completed last night at 10:00 pm… at that point we had 5.5″ of snow. Haven’t heard how much we currently have but I’m estimating 8″ with a couple more inches expected. Need to get outside for round 2 before the winds hit later this morning… now they are saying 50+ mph. Time to hunker down.

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Oh Hell1No1

November 21, 2009 at 11:40 am (Oh Hell No) ()

Mr. Wonderful is asleep on the couch running a 101.4 temp, to early in the day for that kind of temp. Waiting on a call back from the Doctor’s office. He’s had the seasonal flu shot and his symptoms are flu like. Shit. No colds ever take him down so it’s not looking good.

Update: Dr. wanted to see him so I took him in and the Dr. said it looks like it is H1N1. He also did a chest x-ray and said his chest already looks questionable so he put him on antibiotics and Tamiflu. Damn, glad I didn’t take a wait and see approach, he only started coughing yesterday. My chest is feeling just a bit raspy so after much insistence on my part he put me on Tamiflu too. You would think that would have been a no brainer, who the hell is going to take care of us if I get sick.

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What is certain to become the next big reality show

August 25, 2009 at 2:34 pm (Oh Hell No, The Monkeys in My Head) (, , , , , )

What is up with all these already fortunate people who have reality shows and then get more perks by starting their own lines and opening stores? I flipped on the TV yesterday and it was on E!  and those two Kardasian girls (spl of their names… don’t care if it’s wrong it’s not worth my time to look up). All their immature and crazy sister bullshit over “their store” and “radio show” and whatever else their spoiled asses had going on. Honestly, I could only take about 7 minutes of it and that was too much. Then there’s Jon from Kate + 8 – Jon… he’s now off trying to set up some divorced dads show and get a deal with the Ed Hardy line. Next up we have the housewifes of whatever city and they now have wig lines and CDs even though they show no talent. What am I missing here folks? How do I get one of these gigs? How about a real reality show on The Housewives of Dead Husbands? I think the title has a catchy ring to it.

Yeah, probably boring tv but hey if the money is rolling in I can surely find many ways to make things interesting!

ETA: Now that I think about it, yesterday’s butt explosion would have been a perfect episode. Not only did we have the drama of that, I had a slight meltdown at the vet’s office which I’m certain would have added a nice comedic angle. Hell my life is one thing or another on a daily basis so perhaps it could be interesting. And with all the trips and shit they supply to add to the shows, which of course JDrill would partake in, that is sure to make for fun crazy times… oh hell yeah, the wheels are churning. Where’s the link to Bravo and E! to pitch my ideas?

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How Facebook will totally ruin my life

August 25, 2009 at 11:00 am (Oh Hell No) (, , , , , )

I thought Facebook was all about stalking ex’s and social networking. I can’t find the time to do anything I should be doing because I have to check my Vampire Wars account at least every 60 minutes so I don’t lose any blood. I am not a gamer but somehow I have been totally sucked (no pun intended) into this one.  Each time I check my account to deposit my blood I find that I have to either then do some missions, buy minions, or go on some attacks and it’s exhausting. Though I can replenish my health and energy it does nothing for me in my real life.

On another note, my dog’s ass exploded yesterday. Though I will try and not be graphic, for those who have delicate sensibilities you might want to skip this part.

Sunday I was brushing the pup and everything about him appeared fine. The next morning I got up and noticed that something was most definitely wrong in the hind quarters. He wouldn’t let me get anywhere close to examine but I knew it was not good. I rushed him to the vet and found out he had an anal gland erupt. She asked me if he had been scooting and I told him a little but not that much. Take heed… make sure your groomer is taking care of your dog’s glands. I groomed him last month but I had no idea this could happen if you miss one expressing.  So long story short, his ass is looking much better today and he should be just fine. I just felt like a horrible mom for him having to endure such a thing. Not only was it painful for him but can you image the humiliation he has to suffer? Mr. Wonderful goes and yells over the fence to the neighbors all about the dog’s butt, with their two dogs within ear shot. Now he’s the laughing stock of the neighborhood, all his dog crew are cracking butt jokes and now none of them want to sniff his ass. 

Since I’m making an effort these days to find the positive in all situations… I guess that’s better than finding out he’s some stray’s puppy daddy.

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I’m such a dork

July 24, 2009 at 4:18 pm (Garage of Gloom, Oh Hell No) (, , , , )

In what appears to be my perpetual garage sale (my neighbor wanted to have it again this weekend), I met a Bering Sea fisherman!  His wife was looking at this key case that has sailors knots on the front of it and she told me her husband could tie all the knots, I asked if he was a sailor. That led into the conversation that he is an Inupiat Indian and was a fisherman and so I asked him if he fished the Bering Sea and he said yeah, for 21 years. I’m so easily entertained… you would think I met Sig, Keith, or Phil or something.

Mr. Wonderful wants food, guess I better go cook. Back soon.

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If I don’t post something soon I should probably turn this into a craft blog.

May 26, 2009 at 4:41 pm (Exorcising Demons, Family Foolery, Monkey Business, Oh Hell No, Sassy Saturday) (, , , , , )

Hells bells and cocker spaniels.  Ok, fine, whatever, I’ll get off my lazy ass and post as I don’t want to be responsible for anyone dying on my blog.

Ms. Drill came to visit over the weekend. Not sure if I have security clearance so I can’t say what it is but she brought her new car… ooohhhh is it drool worthy! So much so that I had to name mine Clyde cuz that’s about what mine looks like in comparison.

In other news, we went out Saturday night and tore it up. We had a final destination in mind but after a couple of beers and a shot of tequila… as she put it, “our asses grew roots to the stools” we were sitting in. Turns out we knew the band and decided to hang there and get people dancing, which we did.  She was smarter than me though, she didn’t chance that second shot of tequila but I did. Then there was this guy, who whenever he came up to the bar would smile at me and by then I was starting to feel a bit brave and two certain people kept telling me to go talk to him so I did, only to find out the woman he was with was hidden by the popcorn machine. So as I approach I’m all like… ah fuck, how do I get out of this gracefully… so I kinda just walked around them and made a beeline for some other guy at the bar and started talking to him. Yeah, I’m real smooth like that. It’s a good thing I don’t do this kind of thing often, I’m sure my humiliation of the evening will keep me from attempting any more shots for a while.

To say we felt a bit fuzzy the next day would be an understatement and fortunately we only had a family cookout to attend. I was good and earlier in the day only had two beers, you know, to take the edge off. We came back home and settled in to watch Breaking Bad and both of us were a bit unsettled by the ending scene. The next day a friend called me to tell me that one of his friends’ daughter had died a few days ago from the same thing (OD’d) and a guy he worked with died on Sunday in a bike accident. Fuck.

So that was our weekend… how was yours?

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