When life is tricky and I don’t mean a tricky dick, though one would be nice.

November 18, 2009 at 5:24 pm (Could I Be Any More Boring?, Monkey Business, The Monkeys in My Head) (, , , , , , )

Last night I had a dream that just would not end. I’d wake up and go back to sleep and the damn thing would just keep going. It was about the love of my life but in present day. What do these type of dreams mean?

Last year I got in touch with him because when we split I promised him I would always stay in touch so give or take 20 years I felt it was important to keep my word. As fate would have it, we were both single and after a couple of months of phone calls that would last for hours at a time he flew from Florida to see me. It was great to see him but the end result was we both realized that our lives are very different and it just isn’t meant to be. Well that and the tribble but that’s a tale for another post.

So back to the dream. I think it means the next great thing is on the horizon. That’s my theory and I’m stickin’ to it. 2009 was suppose to be a great year for me but the clock is ticking and I’m not sure there is a grace period on this. The year is almost over and damn it… something good NEEDS to happen soon.

JDrill told me the other night she ought to introduce me to this guy she knows that’s a millionaire. Now most women’s response would be, Oh Hell Yeah! My response, “fuck, he lives 180 miles away and that sounds like too much trouble.” What kind of cuckoo brain says shit like that? No wonder I’m still single, I should just carry a cactus in my purse. Bonus points if you know the movie.

For a while now I’ve been trying to find something to blog about but seriously, there’s been nothing but dead air or chatter going on in my head. Tuesdays was the day I could usually pull out at least a sentence or two but now I have this new co-worker who brings nothing to work to occupy her time other than her voice so it’s constant chatter about nothing. She’s really nice enough but fuck, Tuesdays was my day to relax.

And now for a bit of corporate whining. I don’t know how I am going to make it to Christmas this year. The we are going to have such a happy Christmas ads have already started and I’m sure I’m not the only one who wants to throw something at the tv each time I see one. We have “reality” (ha) tv, can’t we have some reality commercials? I really want someone to step up to the plate and say they know this Christmas is going to suck and give us some solution as to how we’re going to pull this one out of our ass.

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I want, I want.

October 30, 2009 at 1:05 pm (Electronics That Go Bump in the Night) (, , , , , )

I covet a Kindle. Yes, I NEED one of those. Now that I have upped my blog traffic I wonder if Amazon will give me one if I promise to do a review? I need some joy in my life, come on Amazon… make the widow Poison’s day.

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What is certain to become the next big reality show

August 25, 2009 at 2:34 pm (Oh Hell No, The Monkeys in My Head) (, , , , , )

What is up with all these already fortunate people who have reality shows and then get more perks by starting their own lines and opening stores? I flipped on the TV yesterday and it was on E!  and those two Kardasian girls (spl of their names… don’t care if it’s wrong it’s not worth my time to look up). All their immature and crazy sister bullshit over “their store” and “radio show” and whatever else their spoiled asses had going on. Honestly, I could only take about 7 minutes of it and that was too much. Then there’s Jon from Kate + 8 – Jon… he’s now off trying to set up some divorced dads show and get a deal with the Ed Hardy line. Next up we have the housewifes of whatever city and they now have wig lines and CDs even though they show no talent. What am I missing here folks? How do I get one of these gigs? How about a real reality show on The Housewives of Dead Husbands? I think the title has a catchy ring to it.

Yeah, probably boring tv but hey if the money is rolling in I can surely find many ways to make things interesting!

ETA: Now that I think about it, yesterday’s butt explosion would have been a perfect episode. Not only did we have the drama of that, I had a slight meltdown at the vet’s office which I’m certain would have added a nice comedic angle. Hell my life is one thing or another on a daily basis so perhaps it could be interesting. And with all the trips and shit they supply to add to the shows, which of course JDrill would partake in, that is sure to make for fun crazy times… oh hell yeah, the wheels are churning. Where’s the link to Bravo and E! to pitch my ideas?

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Bad Blogger, No Internet

April 28, 2009 at 8:20 am (Electronics That Go Bump in the Night) (, , , , )

Traveled all the way across town yesterday to Comcast to have my converter box changed out and then last night tried to go online to discover I had no internet. Called Comcast and found there was an outage in the area and apparently when they came back online they fried my modem. On the plus side they said they will replace my modem for free. So later this afternoon I will go all the way across town, again, and see if they keep their word.  Hopefully I’ll be back online tonight.

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Friday Edition

April 3, 2009 at 2:59 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , )

So last night I decided to introduce Mr. Wonderful to the delights of Wendy’s. As with most kids, Mr. Wonderful been pretty well stuck on those damn Happy Meals and just recently decided to be a little adventurous and try Subway, to which he discovered suited his palette well. So last night I thought I would introduce him to the delights of Wendy’s. I hadn’t been there for a long time and was surprised to find that it was an additional $.40 for the damn cheese.  I suppose since it’s called a Single and not Cheeseburger I should have had a clue but I didn’t so ok, I dealt.

Where I live has three cities that are connected and I live in one of the burbs which is right on the edge of the main city. Usually I stay on my side of town which translates into not crossing the intersection into “the city.” Anyway, last night I decided that I would take us on a whirlwind adventure and cross that intersection so we could go to Wendy’s (there is a point here… I’m getting to it, honestly.) So I get the food, travel back to the burbs and come home to eat. As I’m sitting here eating I’m looking at the receipt because there was an issue with the frosties. I glance down and notice the tax is $.93 and I think, WTF, that seems high. Since I’m already pissed about the cheese and the frosty I get my calculator out and calculate what the tax rate is. Turns out the tax rate in the city is 9.25%. I happen to have a receipt in my car from KFC which is across the street, and in the burbs, so I calculate their tax and it is 7.25%.  Sure it’s only 2% but it’s the principal and I am so sick of getting taxed to death on everything. If I wasn’t so lazy I would calculate how much of our dollar we actually get to keep these days… I’m certain it’s maybe $.25… on a good day.

So that’s my rant for the day, I feel better now.

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Corporate Whining

February 3, 2009 at 10:17 pm (Thought of the Day) (, , , , , )

Disney is now whining about its profits being down in DVD sales:

The company said it earned $845 million, or 45 cents a share, in the quarter ended Dec. 27, compared with a profit of $1.25 billion, or 63 cents a share, in the same quarter a year earlier.

Boo fucking hoo. I am so sick of all the corporate whining and how their profits are down. I know there are many companies truly hurting in this economy but I believe there is a very real possibly more companies are jumping on the bad economy bandwagon to justify their rising costs to the consumer.

I fully admit that I know dick about economics but I do have common sense. When I hear that a company is making almost a billion dollars in a quarter I say there is a good chance the company is still making money.

When gas prices escalated so did our food costs. Does anyone have any idea, now that gas is less than 1/2 of what it was, when food prices will start to come back down? Hahahahaha, I’m funny I know.

But seriously, I’m about to declare a “fuck you…insert company here” letter writing campaign to all major food*, toiletries, and cleaning products manufacturers that I can think of.  I’ve never been much of a generic item kind of shopper but now I am pissed and make it a point, whenever possible, to buy generic**. I am so sick of seeing all my money going down the toilet, literally, so those fuckers can charge me more, downsize the product and then pull shit like this:

Warning! Before you click on the link I think these folks are possibly not that far removed from PETA and their Sea Kittens***.

Kraft foods contain unlabeled GMOs and the company has fought to prevent the passing of labeling requirements.

I found that little gem while trying to do some research on how much of the Kraft Foods product line is actually produced in the U.S. Well I didn’t have much luck since they have manufacturing facilities all over the world and frankly, I just don’t feel like spending much time on the research.

My point is, before I came across the above link I had never heard of these GMOs and was curious to see what Kraft Foods is being accused of. After 30 seconds more of extensive research I was lead to this site where it is explained:

Unlabeled GM sugar in the food supply by 2009

This year, farmers are planting Monsanto’s Roundup-Ready GM sugar beets for sale to food producers for the first time. This beet is genetically engineered to survive multiple, direct applications of the weed killer, Roundup, and its active ingredient, glyphosate. What’s particularly appalling about the approval of this GM sugar beet is that at the time of its approval, Monsanto convinced the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to increase the glyphosate residues allowed on sugar beetroots by an astounding 5,000 percent. This opens up the possibility for excessive pesticide spraying on GM sugar beets.

What’s more—

Beets are wind-pollinated, which means that plants from one field routinely pollinate beets in other fields up to several miles away. GM contamination from cross- pollination would be unavoidable and that could put related vegetable varieties at risk such as green and red chard and golden and red table beets.genetically-modified, pesticide-soaked beet sugar would wind up in just about all non-organic cereal, bread, baby food, cookies, candy, etc., and would be listed in the ingredients merely as “sugar.”  Which really should surprise no one, since it’s not like any other genetically-modified, pesticide-soaked products are labeled as such—who would buy them?

Admittedly, I’m lazy and truly don’t care enough to probe any further so feel free to educate me in the comments.

You know what this is all coming to. If things don’t turn around soon I’m going to have to turn my beautiful Kentucky Blue into 1/2 garden, 1/2 pasture, and live off the fat of the land. So help me out here and stock up on your generics, write some emails, get all proactive and shit.

* We will exclude beverages as some things you just can’t repudiate, they are the elixir of life, and most likely the only thing getting most of us through these End of Days.

** I know that by buying generic I’m probably not making any kind of statement to The Man and the generics are probably manufactured by terrorists or something. However, I am saving money and hopefully not helping some CEO buy a $1400 waste basket.

*** I was going to link PETA and their Sea Kittens but I don’t want them anywhere near my blog or my furs! You’ll just have to Google it.

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