Shitler’s List

April 29, 2009 at 5:58 pm (Electronics That Go Bump in the Night) (, , , , , , )

Back to the land of the Internets. Turned out the underground cable that runs from the box to my house went bad. This is not good. I now have a temporary cable running across my back yard and have no clue when it will get buried as apparently this work is contracted out. I sure hope I’m home when they do this because you know they are going to jack up my lawn and sprinkler system, badly.

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Oink flu… I don’t trust Teh Man and what they are telling us, it’s probably far worse than being reported and we’re now at something like freak the hell out level 5. I’m thankful that Mr. Wonderful goes to a relatively small school but still, it could end up there and that scares the shit out of me.

Furthermore, are we all going to have to run around wearing those blue mask things? That’s so not my color and they don’t go with any of my outfits. Will I have to get new bags and shoes to match? Frankly keeping up with these ever changing reports is exhausting and that’s the last thing I need right now so I’m going to have to fire the media again. I need to conserve my energy for watching my lawn like a shithawk for those turf wreckers.

Perhaps I will employ my retired neighbor, he loves to watch for shit. He spends many days just staring at my lawn and wondering then asking when I’m going to thatch it… he’s becoming a real Shitler about it. (Yeah well that will happen when I have some time off with no rain. Stop staring at it or get your retired thatchin’ ass over here and handle it.)  Certainly when I give him the news of the pending upheaval and how he can have full supervisory privileges he will have a new sense of purpose and maybe get off my ass about the thatching.

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The Crab Boats… great season so far!

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Friday Soap Box

February 27, 2009 at 5:47 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , )

I’m done with the media, I can’t take any more of their negativity. I wish it were true that one person can make a difference, I would be all over their asses and demand change in their reporting. Why oh why can’t they do their job in this era of Hope and Change and go find some HOPEFUL newsy things to report on? Has it occurred to any of the powers in charge that perhaps they are a big part of the problem with the depressing state of things? Granted we don’t want to be in the dark here but damn, people need to start hearing some good news for a change so we can maybe feel a little bit of hope.

So I’ve heard it reported around blogland that there is a shortage on ammo, damn me and my procrastination! Now that scares me. I’m certain that Mr. Hope and Change will do his best to make sure I don’t get any either. And then when the media finally decides to report on something positive like there’s still one person with food in their refrigerator, me,  I will have a limited number of rounds to take out the people trying to break into my house and steal my food.

Best blog tagline ever:

they took all my change I was gonna buy hope with, dammit.

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