Poof into the night

July 2, 2010 at 3:34 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

So my buddy is gone, no sign of him or his new blog. Frankly, I’m a bit worried, I even left a comment on his FB but still no response to me or anyone.  If the new blog was still there I would just assume it meant he is MIA on an assignment again.

So Mr. Talker, if you read this please leave a comment, shoot me an email, something to let me know you’re okay. Total silence is beginning to freak me out.

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Freaky Friday on Tuesday

October 20, 2009 at 11:15 am (Cleaning Fairies) (, , , , , )

Hey! How ya been? Seriously, times flies when you’re not having so much fun, doesn’t it? Been busy, blah, blah, blah, people have been pissin’ me off, blah, blah, blah.  Um no, it’s not you… just some idiot that for five minutes I thought I would let back in my life to only find I was disappointed yet again, will I ever learn?

A little bit ago I had a nice surprise and someone stopped by to see me. I’ve only been expecting this person (herein refered to as JC) to stop by and see me for some time now but I think he’s a bit shy and I’m a bit old fashioned, I like to be the one pursued at first.  I’ve known of this person since my late teens and mysterious forces have put us back into one another’s path. After talking for a few moments we discovered that our world is very small, very very small and it appeared to answer a big question for him so I think he will be calling again very soon. It’s hard to explain but I just have this very strange feeling and I think it’s actually a good one, God let’s hope so. I seriously need some good feelings, they’ve been so few and far between for too long now. Winter’s coming and wouldn’t it be wonderful to have someone, with a genuine heart, to snuggle by the fire with. Just as a crazy aside, JDrill has been dating a guy for some time now whose birthday is the same day as her mother, JC’s birthday is the same day as my mother… kinda freaky.

My stepbrother is coming home from Germany on Friday and bringing home his new German bride to meet the family. Most of my spare time has been helping my mother get things in order for their arrival. Tomorrow’s the last day I have to help and so hopefully I will find more Internet time. Hell I haven’t even had time to read one of my favorite bloggers! Sorry dude. They will be here for a week and after that he is being deployed back to Afghanistan, please keep him in your prayer’s if you will.

A little linky to share with you all. I love Podcasts and recently just found Keith and the Girl, hysterical crazy ass New Yorkers. They have different daily guests, though my personal fav is Patrice… love her voice and she’s funnier than hell. I figure I only have so many more years left and one of my objectives is to go out laughing even if that means it’s just some stranger’s Podcasts. So go forth and enjoy! (FYI, they always start the show with a prayer but it in no way sets the tone for the show.)

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How Facebook will totally ruin my life

August 25, 2009 at 11:00 am (Oh Hell No) (, , , , , )

I thought Facebook was all about stalking ex’s and social networking. I can’t find the time to do anything I should be doing because I have to check my Vampire Wars account at least every 60 minutes so I don’t lose any blood. I am not a gamer but somehow I have been totally sucked (no pun intended) into this one.  Each time I check my account to deposit my blood I find that I have to either then do some missions, buy minions, or go on some attacks and it’s exhausting. Though I can replenish my health and energy it does nothing for me in my real life.

On another note, my dog’s ass exploded yesterday. Though I will try and not be graphic, for those who have delicate sensibilities you might want to skip this part.

Sunday I was brushing the pup and everything about him appeared fine. The next morning I got up and noticed that something was most definitely wrong in the hind quarters. He wouldn’t let me get anywhere close to examine but I knew it was not good. I rushed him to the vet and found out he had an anal gland erupt. She asked me if he had been scooting and I told him a little but not that much. Take heed… make sure your groomer is taking care of your dog’s glands. I groomed him last month but I had no idea this could happen if you miss one expressing.  So long story short, his ass is looking much better today and he should be just fine. I just felt like a horrible mom for him having to endure such a thing. Not only was it painful for him but can you image the humiliation he has to suffer? Mr. Wonderful goes and yells over the fence to the neighbors all about the dog’s butt, with their two dogs within ear shot. Now he’s the laughing stock of the neighborhood, all his dog crew are cracking butt jokes and now none of them want to sniff his ass. 

Since I’m making an effort these days to find the positive in all situations… I guess that’s better than finding out he’s some stray’s puppy daddy.

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Weather, zombies, balloon, my foot is totally asleep and I stood up and almost fell down, twice

June 16, 2009 at 11:48 am (Could I Be Any More Boring?, Family Foolery) (, , , , , , )

  • Apparently I’ve gone international, hello Lithuania!
  • The life has been sucked out of me. All work and no play make me a boring person with little to blog about. We’ve had a strange spring, mostly cold and now we seem to be into a rainy season so when I’m not working and the weather is half way decent I have to quickly dash outside and work on my outdoor to-do list.
  • The weekend was the zombie march in Chicago. JDrill’s son was looking out his window and saw a couple hundred of them walking down Michigan Avenue. All I got from my window was a hot air balloon flying over head.
  • There was a family cook out this weekend. One of my siblings lives within spitting distance of me and I rarely see him. He’s retired so it’s not like he’s busy with work, he’s just a bit antisocial. When I arrived at the cook out my father introduced us… good one dad!
  • Lately I’ve been thinking a lot of where I’m at in my life and am finding that for the most part I am content. I think about dating but 1. I haven’t met anyone who interests me, 2. I’m not up for another disappointment, and 3. it requires effort that is better spent on creating an obstacle course to my heart.
  • See, told you I’ve been boring.

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TPB’s Word of the Day

March 31, 2009 at 11:26 am (Word of the Day) (, , , , )

Last week the news reported that tomorrow there’s suppose to be some flesh eating worm virus going around the internet. Oh, like I have time to deal with that…what a pain in my ass. I had to go and make sure all the computers were updated, come by the blog and slather some flesh eating protectant (FEP 45) on it and then send out a herd of pigeons to warn all my family and friends.  Totally sucking up my time from adding to my to-do list then promptly ignoring it, reading blogs, and watching the Trailer Park Boys.

That is all. Off to watch Ricky work on his grade 10 so he can change his “perspectant” on life.

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It’s a Knick Knack Patty Whack, Give the Frog a Loan

March 24, 2009 at 3:06 pm (Family Foolery) (, , , , )

True Story.

When I was just a wee lass my father like to drink a bit too much. However, times have changed and he hasn’t had nary a drink in over 35 years or so… but that really isn’t the point here.

Sometime in the early 1960s he came home from the tavern and in his drunkenness decided to get all up in my mother’s face and demanded to know what the point was of those fucking knick knacks that sat on the living room shelves. He went on to declare that shelves are for storage and to hold food, not stupid-ass pretties. The next day he came home from work to find all the knick knacks gone and the shelves held pantry goods thoughtfully arranged and on display. Knowing my mother and her wicked sense of humor, I’m surprised she didn’t have them priced with stickers and a grocery cart in the room to get them back to the kitchen.

Now we know why, even when my pantry is full of that shit, she keeps bringing me the huge boxes of fruit roll ups… she obviously has designs on any vacancies in my living room.

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It’s Busted

March 14, 2009 at 9:11 pm (Electronics That Go Bump in the Night, Sassy Saturday) (, , , , , , )

Did I recently get all cocky about how things broke but it could have been worse? Did I mock Murphy or something? It’s been one of those weeks. Here’s what broke:

  1. the gear in my garage door opener
  2. my router
  3. my tonsils
  4. and the mother fuckin’ alien ankle syndrome is back because I thought I would be smart ass and not wear the ankle wrap these past couple of days.

I woke up Tuesday morning and was running a fever of 102 so I called the doc. They could see me at 9:15 so as I was leaving and went to shut the garage door it stopped about 3/4 of the way down. After rescheduling the appointment and getting my neighbor over to get the door down it was determined the gear was worn out. In the past 10 years, one would think, they would have invented metal gears to prevent this sort of tragedy.  And what should be a $2 part is of course a $41 or $59 dollar kit, depending on if the kit is pre-assembled or not. That’s a rant saved for another day.

So I go to bed that night and we lose power. No internet + fever = quickly losing all will to live. I have tonsillitis and can barely swallow let alone talk but I will suffer through it if it means I can rest peacefully knowing the internet is only fingertips away. After spending some time on the phone with cable it is determined that my modem is fine, it’s my router. Cable guy instructs me to call NetGear so I do. NetGear informs me that my warranty has expired but I can buy an extended one or for a one-time fee I can speak to the level 2 (what the fuck is level 2 anyway?) technical department. I ask the NetGear smartypants lady how much for the one-time fee and she tells me $75. I know, don’t laugh, now we know why it’s called level 2. That’s how many levels down their going to stick it to you. 

Screw that! So I go rummaging around the Den of Doom and came out with another router. Keep in mind I’m very feverish so I’m not thinking too clearly and I’m trying to hook this baby up, there’s four ports and I am not that tech savvy. I assume the cat 5 cable goes into the first one but I dunnnnnooo so I call Linksys. That dude gives me the same story as NetGear, minus the level 2 business, and their one-time fee is $29.95. At this point I may or may not have had a bit of a breakdown cuz he decides to help a sista out.  Well we didn’t get it working so I hooked the cable modem up directly to the kids computer and I swear I am not pilfering my neighbors wifi for my laptop until I have time to revisit this issue in the next few days.

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Sassy Saturday

March 7, 2009 at 10:30 pm (Sassy Saturday) (, , , , , , , , , )

It’s Saturday night, booyahshaka!

This week has consisted of skillfully advancing my Guitar Hero career, mourning the imminent demise of my coffee pot, continued clearing of the Den of Doom, estimating the value of found doohickeys and thingamajigs, selling a Life’s Work on eBay, and eagerly awaiting the arrival of Grilling Season which officially kicks off tomorrow.

There were a couple of winters where I grilled year ’round but then I said fuck it. It’s just too much hassle, the light is on the opposite side of the deck from my grill and that meant using a battery powered lantern, it’s too damn cold here in the northern tundra and lastly, Official Grilling Season is fun to say and gives me something to look forward to.

Speaking of my Guitar Hero career, I wonder if they’ve come up with a piano version yet cuz if they have or do I would totally kick ass on that. It finally occurred to me this week that I should see if the Wii would run through my sound system so I could have my full on Midori rock-girl experience when I play. After my blonde moment had passed I remembered all I had to do was change the receiver to Video 2 and now arena, hall, live, or whatever mode I want it to sound like is just a button away. Oh yeah, sassy Poison Live! God I’m easily entertained.

Happy Official Grilling Season!

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Thoughts Even the Monkeys Fear to Tread

January 28, 2009 at 10:05 pm (Mad Cow List) (, , )

So the other day I had to go to this old guy’s place, and by old guy I do mean pushing 70 or so. Out of the corner of my eye I happen to notice a towel on the floor and a few other items. It took me a minute and then I realized two of the items were Vaseline and baby oil. Lube much? Ewww!

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