Weather, zombies, balloon, my foot is totally asleep and I stood up and almost fell down, twice

June 16, 2009 at 11:48 am (Could I Be Any More Boring?, Family Foolery) (, , , , , , )

  • Apparently I’ve gone international, hello Lithuania!
  • The life has been sucked out of me. All work and no play make me a boring person with little to blog about. We’ve had a strange spring, mostly cold and now we seem to be into a rainy season so when I’m not working and the weather is half way decent I have to quickly dash outside and work on my outdoor to-do list.
  • The weekend was the zombie march in Chicago. JDrill’s son was looking out his window and saw a couple hundred of them walking down Michigan Avenue. All I got from my window was a hot air balloon flying over head.
  • There was a family cook out this weekend. One of my siblings lives within spitting distance of me and I rarely see him. He’s retired so it’s not like he’s busy with work, he’s just a bit antisocial. When I arrived at the cook out my father introduced us… good one dad!
  • Lately I’ve been thinking a lot of where I’m at in my life and am finding that for the most part I am content. I think about dating but 1. I haven’t met anyone who interests me, 2. I’m not up for another disappointment, and 3. it requires effort that is better spent on creating an obstacle course to my heart.
  • See, told you I’ve been boring.

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If I don’t post something soon I should probably turn this into a craft blog.

May 26, 2009 at 4:41 pm (Exorcising Demons, Family Foolery, Monkey Business, Oh Hell No, Sassy Saturday) (, , , , , )

Hells bells and cocker spaniels.  Ok, fine, whatever, I’ll get off my lazy ass and post as I don’t want to be responsible for anyone dying on my blog.

Ms. Drill came to visit over the weekend. Not sure if I have security clearance so I can’t say what it is but she brought her new car… ooohhhh is it drool worthy! So much so that I had to name mine Clyde cuz that’s about what mine looks like in comparison.

In other news, we went out Saturday night and tore it up. We had a final destination in mind but after a couple of beers and a shot of tequila… as she put it, “our asses grew roots to the stools” we were sitting in. Turns out we knew the band and decided to hang there and get people dancing, which we did.  She was smarter than me though, she didn’t chance that second shot of tequila but I did. Then there was this guy, who whenever he came up to the bar would smile at me and by then I was starting to feel a bit brave and two certain people kept telling me to go talk to him so I did, only to find out the woman he was with was hidden by the popcorn machine. So as I approach I’m all like… ah fuck, how do I get out of this gracefully… so I kinda just walked around them and made a beeline for some other guy at the bar and started talking to him. Yeah, I’m real smooth like that. It’s a good thing I don’t do this kind of thing often, I’m sure my humiliation of the evening will keep me from attempting any more shots for a while.

To say we felt a bit fuzzy the next day would be an understatement and fortunately we only had a family cookout to attend. I was good and earlier in the day only had two beers, you know, to take the edge off. We came back home and settled in to watch Breaking Bad and both of us were a bit unsettled by the ending scene. The next day a friend called me to tell me that one of his friends’ daughter had died a few days ago from the same thing (OD’d) and a guy he worked with died on Sunday in a bike accident. Fuck.

So that was our weekend… how was yours?

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You know how you plan on cleaning one small thing and then the next thing you know eight hours have gone by?

May 9, 2009 at 9:34 pm (Cleaning Fairies, Exorcising Demons, Sassy Saturday) (, , , )

Yeah, that was my day. I went out into the garage to clean up one very small area but then it was like I was attacked by cleaning fairies and next thing I know it’s 8:00 pm, only no fairies actually showed up to clean… the bitches left it all to me.  I have cabinets in my garage and honestly I had no clue what was in most of them.  In order to prepare for painting season I needed to organize my painting supplies. To my surprise I found that I have about 15 roller handles and a dozen new rollers, 5 paint trays, 5 paint clothes, 50,000 paint stirrers, 5 or so edgers, etc., etc., etc.

As I was cleaning I found multiples of multiples. At one time I believe Mr. Fuckery was somewhat organized but you would never know it. So apparently when he couldn’t find something, because it was shoved in a bag or box somewhere and then placed in an obscure location, he would just go buy another.  I’m fairly certain I will never have to buy tire or leather cleaner, remote start systems for cars (I found 3), computer cables (I found 100’s… seriously… most of which were tossed out), extension cords or scrub brushes.

In my desire for order I took everything off the pegboards, little hanging doohickeys as well, and started putting things back up in an order that makes sense. All 6 rolls of electrical tape, 2 rolls duct tape, 2 rolls packing tape, 4 rolls double sided tape, and tapes that I have no idea what they’re used for, are all now in a neat and orderly fashion. I got out my black sharpie and then proceeded to outline those babies and now there’s no mistaking where they reside. Kidding, I’m a bit of a freak but not that freaky.

Next up… guest room, I have company coming soon and it looks like it’s been in the middle of a shiticane!

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

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If We Don’t All Die From the Flu, We’ll Probably Starve to Death

May 1, 2009 at 9:14 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , , , )

Oh Hell No.

To quote the great philosopher JDrill:

Don’t worry so much about the flu, worry about what they are hiding. Using a big pig scare to keep the sheep busy. Look the sky is falling.

You know there’s something else going on that’s bigger than the flu, possibly the whole Paki-Tali thing. Being lazy and becoming bored easily, I only keep half-assed abreast of the news but from what I have gathered that whole situation does not look good. 

I have a bigger news theory but there’s no way I’m posting it. It would be just my luck it spreads like wild fire around the internet then I get a knock at the door and am taken away to never again see the light of day. Hey, don’t laugh at my somewhat paranoid ass, crazier shit has happened in my life and I’ve learned to expect anything and everything.

In a very nearby city they have closed their entire school district until further notice because someone “affliated” with the district has a suspected case of the Oh Hell1No1 flu. From what I understand, schools are being recommended to close for two weeks. I just don’t see how these logistics are going to work because you know damn well people will still go to work, send their kids to daycare if it’s open, get on public transportation, etc., only to send the virus back to the schools when they reopen. Seriously, people can’t even cover their coughs with their shirt, cough into their elbow or not use your phone in an office when they’re sick.

So I play nice and follow the rules and Mr. Wonderful and I stay home, how the hell am I going to cope with that? I love my kid dearly but to be housebound with a bored child for two weeks… somebody better send some damn good somethin’ this way. Then there’s the whole I need to go to work to make money so I can buy food and pay my bills. See what I mean, if the flu doesn’t kill us we will all starve to death because we’ll have no money for food, everything will be closed or just the fear of leaving your damn house will be too much. YiYiYi!

Hell the flu I had a two weeks ago might have been Oh Hell1No1 for all I know, there’s been a lot of flu going around this area the past few weeks. How are they distinguishing it? Are they sending out people in hazmat suits to take saliva samples?

It boggles my mind at how quickly this situation has exploded. Even though I stated I was firing the media, it’s kinda like a soap opera and I can’t wait to tune in tomorrow to see what the news brings.

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Shitler’s List

April 29, 2009 at 5:58 pm (Electronics That Go Bump in the Night) (, , , , , , )

Back to the land of the Internets. Turned out the underground cable that runs from the box to my house went bad. This is not good. I now have a temporary cable running across my back yard and have no clue when it will get buried as apparently this work is contracted out. I sure hope I’m home when they do this because you know they are going to jack up my lawn and sprinkler system, badly.

**********

Oink flu… I don’t trust Teh Man and what they are telling us, it’s probably far worse than being reported and we’re now at something like freak the hell out level 5. I’m thankful that Mr. Wonderful goes to a relatively small school but still, it could end up there and that scares the shit out of me.

Furthermore, are we all going to have to run around wearing those blue mask things? That’s so not my color and they don’t go with any of my outfits. Will I have to get new bags and shoes to match? Frankly keeping up with these ever changing reports is exhausting and that’s the last thing I need right now so I’m going to have to fire the media again. I need to conserve my energy for watching my lawn like a shithawk for those turf wreckers.

Perhaps I will employ my retired neighbor, he loves to watch for shit. He spends many days just staring at my lawn and wondering then asking when I’m going to thatch it… he’s becoming a real Shitler about it. (Yeah well that will happen when I have some time off with no rain. Stop staring at it or get your retired thatchin’ ass over here and handle it.)  Certainly when I give him the news of the pending upheaval and how he can have full supervisory privileges he will have a new sense of purpose and maybe get off my ass about the thatching.

**********

The Crab Boats… great season so far!

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Bad Blogger, No Internet

April 28, 2009 at 8:20 am (Electronics That Go Bump in the Night) (, , , , )

Traveled all the way across town yesterday to Comcast to have my converter box changed out and then last night tried to go online to discover I had no internet. Called Comcast and found there was an outage in the area and apparently when they came back online they fried my modem. On the plus side they said they will replace my modem for free. So later this afternoon I will go all the way across town, again, and see if they keep their word.  Hopefully I’ll be back online tonight.

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Friday Edition of Dreams and Dead

April 24, 2009 at 9:32 pm (Exorcising Demons, Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , , , )

Death’s been on my mind a lot lately. The psychic Ms. Drill had a dream about an elaborate Saprano-like funeral and cuz we know how she is, when relaying the dream to me said, I wonder who’s going to die. A few days later I had a dream, yet again, that Mr. Fuckery was back from the dead and trying to tell me the mistakes I’ve made this past year and a half and what needed to change. The next day my sister called to tell me her dad died.

Periodically I have these dreams where he comes in like nothing has happened and tries to pick up life where he left off and I’m all like, are you fucking kidding me? I let him go on for a while and eventually have to tell him he’s dead but before I can get his reaction I always wake up.

There’s a blog I read where a woman, who very much loved her husband, lost him recently to a terminal illness. I read her blog and sometimes feel bad that I don’t feel those emotions of a love that’s lost. We’re suppose to mourn those we lose, it’s like a law or something, but mostly what I feel is indifference. I can empathize with the feelings of being overwhelmed, feeling alone, etc., but I can’t really relate to the rest.

At one point I did love him but the last couple of years he was alive he made sure to destroy that love. And during those last couple of years I was already grieving the loss of my marriage so I guess I had some of the grief already behind me.

As far as the dreams… when someone takes their life it raises many questions that can never be answered, especially when you never saw it coming. I expected a lot of things from him but that wasn’t one of them so it leaves things open ended and I assume that’s why I have these dreams. But most days the questions don’t bother me and as time goes on just becomes more of a curiosity.

Hell I don’t even know what my point is here but I do know that grief has been replaced with just living, learning to depend on no one but myself, and giving my son and me the life we deserve.

Did I hear you say my time is up?  Don’t even think about billing me.

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No I Can’t

April 21, 2009 at 2:40 pm (Quote of the Day) (, , , , , )

So my coworker has an adult sister that has Down Syndrome but is considered very high functioning. Yesterday coworker (CW) was busy so she asked her sister to wait for the delivery guy and when he arrived to sign for the item. DS sister says to CW that she can’t, CW says, “yes you can, when he arrives and hands you the paper just sign your name.” DS sister says, “no I can’t,” CW says “yes you can,” DS sister finally says, “NO I CAN”T… I”M RETARDED!”*

And CW, just because she could, calls their cousin and tells her to call DS sister in five minutes and remind her to sign for the the delivery.

*In all seriousness, I’m sure at some point in time she has been instructed about signing things and was just following those instructions or she just didn’t feel like signing, it’s hard to say.

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The Lost Weekend…

April 20, 2009 at 2:26 pm (My Hypochondria) (, , , )

…which didn’t star Ray Milland.

Awoke Saturday morning to ninjas attacking my intestines which then lead to me realizing that FLU is actually an acronym and not short for influenza, as I had always thought. This assualt was brought on by an 89 year old woman who had told me last week that “getting old ain’t for sissy’s,” and I will admit she’s one fiesty old woman to have survived this because I was almost wishing for death on Saturday.

Still not feeling to great so I will be back soon as I get my sassy back.

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Not Even a Real Post

April 16, 2009 at 3:08 pm (The Monkeys in My Head) (, , , , )

  1. I know I need to update… just been too damn tired.
  2. Deadliest Catch premier was this week, hell yeah!
  3. There was something else but now I have forgotten.  Back tomorrow with more nonsense.

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