I want, I want.

October 30, 2009 at 1:05 pm (Electronics That Go Bump in the Night) (, , , , , )

I covet a Kindle. Yes, I NEED one of those. Now that I have upped my blog traffic I wonder if Amazon will give me one if I promise to do a review? I need some joy in my life, come on Amazon… make the widow Poison’s day.

Permalink 1 Comment

What is certain to become the next big reality show

August 25, 2009 at 2:34 pm (Oh Hell No, The Monkeys in My Head) (, , , , , )

What is up with all these already fortunate people who have reality shows and then get more perks by starting their own lines and opening stores? I flipped on the TV yesterday and it was on E!  and those two Kardasian girls (spl of their names… don’t care if it’s wrong it’s not worth my time to look up). All their immature and crazy sister bullshit over “their store” and “radio show” and whatever else their spoiled asses had going on. Honestly, I could only take about 7 minutes of it and that was too much. Then there’s Jon from Kate + 8 – Jon… he’s now off trying to set up some divorced dads show and get a deal with the Ed Hardy line. Next up we have the housewifes of whatever city and they now have wig lines and CDs even though they show no talent. What am I missing here folks? How do I get one of these gigs? How about a real reality show on The Housewives of Dead Husbands? I think the title has a catchy ring to it.

Yeah, probably boring tv but hey if the money is rolling in I can surely find many ways to make things interesting!

ETA: Now that I think about it, yesterday’s butt explosion would have been a perfect episode. Not only did we have the drama of that, I had a slight meltdown at the vet’s office which I’m certain would have added a nice comedic angle. Hell my life is one thing or another on a daily basis so perhaps it could be interesting. And with all the trips and shit they supply to add to the shows, which of course JDrill would partake in, that is sure to make for fun crazy times… oh hell yeah, the wheels are churning. Where’s the link to Bravo and E! to pitch my ideas?

Permalink Leave a Comment

Returning to the land of the living with more piss and vinegar

August 18, 2009 at 2:38 pm (Exorcising Demons, The Monkeys in My Head) (, , , , , )

If a few old posts show up in your reader today it’s because I chose to make those posts public again. I had marked a few of them private thinking that certain individuals might see them and heaven forbid someone see what truly goes on in my head. Well you know what, Fuck Them, I have a story to tell and if they don’t like it they can fuck me running. (Actually I won’t be running because that would be stupid and I refuse to run from anyone, well unless it’s someone trying to stab me or something.)

As I try to sort out my life and find some consistency, the last few months have presented a challenge at best. I thought the first year would be the hardest but have since found that was not the case. The first year was foggy and somewhat euphoric, having been set free from crazy at last. This year reality set in and it’s been spent learning how to manage all those broken bits of me and turn myself into something I should have always been.

Lack of time and deciding on what to blog about has been an issue. Like I said above, I have a story to tell but I’m not sure how to tell it and perhaps it’s only interesting to me, I’m just not sure. But I do know that I love making fun of myself over the stupid things I can sometimes do and doing so reminds me not to take myself and life so seriously because really, what good does it truly do to stress ones self into a frenzy when stress in itself has no positive outcome to any given situation.

So I vow here today, in front of both my readers, that no matter what kind of shit is thrown at me in the upcoming months I will refuse to lay down and let that asshole win. If I so much as hint at forgetting this, please remind me.

On an unrelated note, I had a date Saturday night and it was fun. I’m really on the fence about dating… my life just seems too crazy right now and not sure if I have the energy for it. I’ve never really “dated” much, for the most part I have always been in a relationship and dating confuses me and is so out of my comfort zone. But, I decided to stop over thinking things and just go out and have fun so that is what I did.

I’m going to get this posted before I change my mind and this ends up being another permanent draft that never sees the light of day.

Permalink 1 Comment

If We Don’t All Die From the Flu, We’ll Probably Starve to Death

May 1, 2009 at 9:14 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , , , )

Oh Hell No.

To quote the great philosopher JDrill:

Don’t worry so much about the flu, worry about what they are hiding. Using a big pig scare to keep the sheep busy. Look the sky is falling.

You know there’s something else going on that’s bigger than the flu, possibly the whole Paki-Tali thing. Being lazy and becoming bored easily, I only keep half-assed abreast of the news but from what I have gathered that whole situation does not look good. 

I have a bigger news theory but there’s no way I’m posting it. It would be just my luck it spreads like wild fire around the internet then I get a knock at the door and am taken away to never again see the light of day. Hey, don’t laugh at my somewhat paranoid ass, crazier shit has happened in my life and I’ve learned to expect anything and everything.

In a very nearby city they have closed their entire school district until further notice because someone “affliated” with the district has a suspected case of the Oh Hell1No1 flu. From what I understand, schools are being recommended to close for two weeks. I just don’t see how these logistics are going to work because you know damn well people will still go to work, send their kids to daycare if it’s open, get on public transportation, etc., only to send the virus back to the schools when they reopen. Seriously, people can’t even cover their coughs with their shirt, cough into their elbow or not use your phone in an office when they’re sick.

So I play nice and follow the rules and Mr. Wonderful and I stay home, how the hell am I going to cope with that? I love my kid dearly but to be housebound with a bored child for two weeks… somebody better send some damn good somethin’ this way. Then there’s the whole I need to go to work to make money so I can buy food and pay my bills. See what I mean, if the flu doesn’t kill us we will all starve to death because we’ll have no money for food, everything will be closed or just the fear of leaving your damn house will be too much. YiYiYi!

Hell the flu I had a two weeks ago might have been Oh Hell1No1 for all I know, there’s been a lot of flu going around this area the past few weeks. How are they distinguishing it? Are they sending out people in hazmat suits to take saliva samples?

It boggles my mind at how quickly this situation has exploded. Even though I stated I was firing the media, it’s kinda like a soap opera and I can’t wait to tune in tomorrow to see what the news brings.

Permalink 2 Comments

Friday Edition of Dreams and Dead

April 24, 2009 at 9:32 pm (Exorcising Demons, Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , , , )

Death’s been on my mind a lot lately. The psychic Ms. Drill had a dream about an elaborate Saprano-like funeral and cuz we know how she is, when relaying the dream to me said, I wonder who’s going to die. A few days later I had a dream, yet again, that Mr. Fuckery was back from the dead and trying to tell me the mistakes I’ve made this past year and a half and what needed to change. The next day my sister called to tell me her dad died.

Periodically I have these dreams where he comes in like nothing has happened and tries to pick up life where he left off and I’m all like, are you fucking kidding me? I let him go on for a while and eventually have to tell him he’s dead but before I can get his reaction I always wake up.

There’s a blog I read where a woman, who very much loved her husband, lost him recently to a terminal illness. I read her blog and sometimes feel bad that I don’t feel those emotions of a love that’s lost. We’re suppose to mourn those we lose, it’s like a law or something, but mostly what I feel is indifference. I can empathize with the feelings of being overwhelmed, feeling alone, etc., but I can’t really relate to the rest.

At one point I did love him but the last couple of years he was alive he made sure to destroy that love. And during those last couple of years I was already grieving the loss of my marriage so I guess I had some of the grief already behind me.

As far as the dreams… when someone takes their life it raises many questions that can never be answered, especially when you never saw it coming. I expected a lot of things from him but that wasn’t one of them so it leaves things open ended and I assume that’s why I have these dreams. But most days the questions don’t bother me and as time goes on just becomes more of a curiosity.

Hell I don’t even know what my point is here but I do know that grief has been replaced with just living, learning to depend on no one but myself, and giving my son and me the life we deserve.

Did I hear you say my time is up?  Don’t even think about billing me.

Permalink 1 Comment

More Friday Soapbox

April 3, 2009 at 6:58 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , )

Mr. Wonderful and I had to run an errand to pick up some essentials. We headed for the dreaded Walmartssssss, God I hate that store but you know, it’s in the hood. And while I’m on the subject… why do the elderlysss always call it Walmartssss? My mother does this and it drives me crazy, that and she calls herextra-strength” pills “Vicodent.”  MOM, for the love of pharmacist, KNOW YOUR DOSES… KNOW YOUR DOPE!

So we’re getting the essentials, Easter candy, furnace filters, shoe polish, you know the usuals and I head over to the area by checkout to pick up some bags of salt for the water softener. There’s this 30 something man standing/leaning on the salt bags and he’s texting or some shit.  I walk up and then start trying to heave these 40 pound bags of salt into my cart (Mr. Wonderful isn’t strong enough to handle the job yet). Man Ass didn’t even look up. Of course if he had then I guess that would have been an acknowledgment that my delicate little ass is struggling and maybe he should show some chivalry and help me out but no, he continued to play with his phone. If I was in his position I would have insisted on helping. I should have let one of the bags fall on his foot. Bastard. What is wrong with people?

Yeah, I got the bags in the cart with no problem really… I am woman hear me roar… whatever. I’m getting very use to having to lift and fix things that typically would be “mens’ work” but it would be nice, once in a while, if I just didn’t have to.

*****

Now to report on something good, I thought I would share an experience I had at pharmacy one day. I was standing in line to check out my 2 for 1 mineral powder deal, woot!, and there was this very clean cut, high school age, brother and sister trying to check out. Their purchase was 19 and some change but their debit card wasn’t going through. The brother says to the sister, “mom said she put money in the account yesterday.” He then tells the clerk sorry but they will have to come back. The next man in line said, “don’t worry about it kids, I got this.” They thanked him but said no they couldn’t accept his generosity. He insisted saying that he had plenty of money and he would really like to help them out and with that he handed the clerk a 20 dollar bill.

Now that was cool to witness.

Permalink 2 Comments

Friday Edition

April 3, 2009 at 2:59 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , )

So last night I decided to introduce Mr. Wonderful to the delights of Wendy’s. As with most kids, Mr. Wonderful been pretty well stuck on those damn Happy Meals and just recently decided to be a little adventurous and try Subway, to which he discovered suited his palette well. So last night I thought I would introduce him to the delights of Wendy’s. I hadn’t been there for a long time and was surprised to find that it was an additional $.40 for the damn cheese.  I suppose since it’s called a Single and not Cheeseburger I should have had a clue but I didn’t so ok, I dealt.

Where I live has three cities that are connected and I live in one of the burbs which is right on the edge of the main city. Usually I stay on my side of town which translates into not crossing the intersection into “the city.” Anyway, last night I decided that I would take us on a whirlwind adventure and cross that intersection so we could go to Wendy’s (there is a point here… I’m getting to it, honestly.) So I get the food, travel back to the burbs and come home to eat. As I’m sitting here eating I’m looking at the receipt because there was an issue with the frosties. I glance down and notice the tax is $.93 and I think, WTF, that seems high. Since I’m already pissed about the cheese and the frosty I get my calculator out and calculate what the tax rate is. Turns out the tax rate in the city is 9.25%. I happen to have a receipt in my car from KFC which is across the street, and in the burbs, so I calculate their tax and it is 7.25%.  Sure it’s only 2% but it’s the principal and I am so sick of getting taxed to death on everything. If I wasn’t so lazy I would calculate how much of our dollar we actually get to keep these days… I’m certain it’s maybe $.25… on a good day.

So that’s my rant for the day, I feel better now.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Exorcising Demons

March 25, 2009 at 9:07 pm (Electronics That Go Bump in the Night, Thought of the Day) (, , , , , )

It just occurred to me that it’s been 1-1/2 years ago today. It almost passed right by me today as I don’t think about it each month like I did the first year.  Let me mark the day with this little ditty.

It was the 25th day of September, that day I’ll always remember…
Mr. Fuckery was a trolling bone, wherever he is will never be home,
and when he died, I was relieved he left us alone.

Perhaps that sounds cruel, disrespectful, whatever. Guess you had to be there.

Permalink 5 Comments

Friday Soap Box

February 27, 2009 at 5:47 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , )

I’m done with the media, I can’t take any more of their negativity. I wish it were true that one person can make a difference, I would be all over their asses and demand change in their reporting. Why oh why can’t they do their job in this era of Hope and Change and go find some HOPEFUL newsy things to report on? Has it occurred to any of the powers in charge that perhaps they are a big part of the problem with the depressing state of things? Granted we don’t want to be in the dark here but damn, people need to start hearing some good news for a change so we can maybe feel a little bit of hope.

So I’ve heard it reported around blogland that there is a shortage on ammo, damn me and my procrastination! Now that scares me. I’m certain that Mr. Hope and Change will do his best to make sure I don’t get any either. And then when the media finally decides to report on something positive like there’s still one person with food in their refrigerator, me,  I will have a limited number of rounds to take out the people trying to break into my house and steal my food.

Best blog tagline ever:

they took all my change I was gonna buy hope with, dammit.

Permalink 1 Comment

Corporate Whining

February 3, 2009 at 10:17 pm (Thought of the Day) (, , , , , )

Disney is now whining about its profits being down in DVD sales:

The company said it earned $845 million, or 45 cents a share, in the quarter ended Dec. 27, compared with a profit of $1.25 billion, or 63 cents a share, in the same quarter a year earlier.

Boo fucking hoo. I am so sick of all the corporate whining and how their profits are down. I know there are many companies truly hurting in this economy but I believe there is a very real possibly more companies are jumping on the bad economy bandwagon to justify their rising costs to the consumer.

I fully admit that I know dick about economics but I do have common sense. When I hear that a company is making almost a billion dollars in a quarter I say there is a good chance the company is still making money.

When gas prices escalated so did our food costs. Does anyone have any idea, now that gas is less than 1/2 of what it was, when food prices will start to come back down? Hahahahaha, I’m funny I know.

But seriously, I’m about to declare a “fuck you…insert company here” letter writing campaign to all major food*, toiletries, and cleaning products manufacturers that I can think of.  I’ve never been much of a generic item kind of shopper but now I am pissed and make it a point, whenever possible, to buy generic**. I am so sick of seeing all my money going down the toilet, literally, so those fuckers can charge me more, downsize the product and then pull shit like this:

Warning! Before you click on the link I think these folks are possibly not that far removed from PETA and their Sea Kittens***.

Kraft foods contain unlabeled GMOs and the company has fought to prevent the passing of labeling requirements.

I found that little gem while trying to do some research on how much of the Kraft Foods product line is actually produced in the U.S. Well I didn’t have much luck since they have manufacturing facilities all over the world and frankly, I just don’t feel like spending much time on the research.

My point is, before I came across the above link I had never heard of these GMOs and was curious to see what Kraft Foods is being accused of. After 30 seconds more of extensive research I was lead to this site where it is explained:

Unlabeled GM sugar in the food supply by 2009

This year, farmers are planting Monsanto’s Roundup-Ready GM sugar beets for sale to food producers for the first time. This beet is genetically engineered to survive multiple, direct applications of the weed killer, Roundup, and its active ingredient, glyphosate. What’s particularly appalling about the approval of this GM sugar beet is that at the time of its approval, Monsanto convinced the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to increase the glyphosate residues allowed on sugar beetroots by an astounding 5,000 percent. This opens up the possibility for excessive pesticide spraying on GM sugar beets.

What’s more—

Beets are wind-pollinated, which means that plants from one field routinely pollinate beets in other fields up to several miles away. GM contamination from cross- pollination would be unavoidable and that could put related vegetable varieties at risk such as green and red chard and golden and red table beets.genetically-modified, pesticide-soaked beet sugar would wind up in just about all non-organic cereal, bread, baby food, cookies, candy, etc., and would be listed in the ingredients merely as “sugar.”  Which really should surprise no one, since it’s not like any other genetically-modified, pesticide-soaked products are labeled as such—who would buy them?

Admittedly, I’m lazy and truly don’t care enough to probe any further so feel free to educate me in the comments.

You know what this is all coming to. If things don’t turn around soon I’m going to have to turn my beautiful Kentucky Blue into 1/2 garden, 1/2 pasture, and live off the fat of the land. So help me out here and stock up on your generics, write some emails, get all proactive and shit.

* We will exclude beverages as some things you just can’t repudiate, they are the elixir of life, and most likely the only thing getting most of us through these End of Days.

** I know that by buying generic I’m probably not making any kind of statement to The Man and the generics are probably manufactured by terrorists or something. However, I am saving money and hopefully not helping some CEO buy a $1400 waste basket.

*** I was going to link PETA and their Sea Kittens but I don’t want them anywhere near my blog or my furs! You’ll just have to Google it.

Permalink 1 Comment