We’re in the eye of a shiticane here Julian

October 29, 2010 at 8:28 am (Friday Soap Box, Oh Hell No) (, , , , , , )

The past few days we were experiencing a shitsunami. Pulling into my subdivision I noticed my friend’s house had some shingles blown up but not off. Started looking around and noticed other houses had loose shingles and then got to my house and noticed a section about 3′ x 2′ missing shingles. Fuck.

This house is 12 years old so this is a single layer roof and I have no idea what to do. I don’t think it will be worth an insurance claim because of the deductible so I guess I’m going to have to see if I have some extra shingles in the shed and climb my ass up on the roof and fix it. Ha! I’m pretty handy with duct tape, gorilla glue, and rubber bands but if memory serves me right this job will call for nails and a hammer.  Is there anything else you have to use? The layer of whatever it is that covers the wood is still there so that’s good. So if you happen to be in the neighborhood and see a chick on a roof it might make for a good YouTube video cuz this shit is going to be ridiculous.

In other busted shit news I’m trying to ascertain what’s going on with my furnace. I’m leaning towards needing a new thermostat and hopefully I can find the same model so I can plug it into the existing mount. It will suddenly drop temperature in here and then when I go and restart the pilot then it will start working again only to eventually wig out. I woke up this morning and it was 68° and so I did the restart thing and set the thermostat to 73° (higher than I usually set it) and now it seems to be working fine again.

Just talked to my repair guy and he concurs, it’s probably my thermostat. If plugging the new one into the mount doesn’t work he said he will come over and replace the mount. I’m feeling kinda smartypants having diagnosed this all by my girl self!

Being a homeowner is a pain in the ass. It would be nice if life would throw me a bone and let things break when I actually have a man here to fix them.

Today’s agenda is Target, PetsMart, Home Depot, tonight pumpkin carving, Saturday hair day for Mr. Wonderful and my mom, Sunday trick-or-treating. I can hardly contain my excitement.

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Poof into the night

July 2, 2010 at 3:34 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

So my buddy is gone, no sign of him or his new blog. Frankly, I’m a bit worried, I even left a comment on his FB but still no response to me or anyone.  If the new blog was still there I would just assume it meant he is MIA on an assignment again.

So Mr. Talker, if you read this please leave a comment, shoot me an email, something to let me know you’re okay. Total silence is beginning to freak me out.

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I am not ready for this.

December 8, 2009 at 4:28 pm (Oh Hell No) (, , , , )

My local forecast: 9-14 inches of snow by tomorrow, then 40+ mph winds. Good times. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow afternoon send for help, it means I’m buried alive in a snow drift with a running snow blower threatening to eat me.

UPDATE: Round 1 of snow blowing completed last night at 10:00 pm… at that point we had 5.5″ of snow. Haven’t heard how much we currently have but I’m estimating 8″ with a couple more inches expected. Need to get outside for round 2 before the winds hit later this morning… now they are saying 50+ mph. Time to hunker down.

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Oh Hell1No1

November 21, 2009 at 11:40 am (Oh Hell No) ()

Mr. Wonderful is asleep on the couch running a 101.4 temp, to early in the day for that kind of temp. Waiting on a call back from the Doctor’s office. He’s had the seasonal flu shot and his symptoms are flu like. Shit. No colds ever take him down so it’s not looking good.

Update: Dr. wanted to see him so I took him in and the Dr. said it looks like it is H1N1. He also did a chest x-ray and said his chest already looks questionable so he put him on antibiotics and Tamiflu. Damn, glad I didn’t take a wait and see approach, he only started coughing yesterday. My chest is feeling just a bit raspy so after much insistence on my part he put me on Tamiflu too. You would think that would have been a no brainer, who the hell is going to take care of us if I get sick.

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I want, I want.

October 30, 2009 at 1:05 pm (Electronics That Go Bump in the Night) (, , , , , )

I covet a Kindle. Yes, I NEED one of those. Now that I have upped my blog traffic I wonder if Amazon will give me one if I promise to do a review? I need some joy in my life, come on Amazon… make the widow Poison’s day.

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Freaky Friday on Tuesday

October 20, 2009 at 11:15 am (Cleaning Fairies) (, , , , , )

Hey! How ya been? Seriously, times flies when you’re not having so much fun, doesn’t it? Been busy, blah, blah, blah, people have been pissin’ me off, blah, blah, blah.  Um no, it’s not you… just some idiot that for five minutes I thought I would let back in my life to only find I was disappointed yet again, will I ever learn?

A little bit ago I had a nice surprise and someone stopped by to see me. I’ve only been expecting this person (herein refered to as JC) to stop by and see me for some time now but I think he’s a bit shy and I’m a bit old fashioned, I like to be the one pursued at first.  I’ve known of this person since my late teens and mysterious forces have put us back into one another’s path. After talking for a few moments we discovered that our world is very small, very very small and it appeared to answer a big question for him so I think he will be calling again very soon. It’s hard to explain but I just have this very strange feeling and I think it’s actually a good one, God let’s hope so. I seriously need some good feelings, they’ve been so few and far between for too long now. Winter’s coming and wouldn’t it be wonderful to have someone, with a genuine heart, to snuggle by the fire with. Just as a crazy aside, JDrill has been dating a guy for some time now whose birthday is the same day as her mother, JC’s birthday is the same day as my mother… kinda freaky.

My stepbrother is coming home from Germany on Friday and bringing home his new German bride to meet the family. Most of my spare time has been helping my mother get things in order for their arrival. Tomorrow’s the last day I have to help and so hopefully I will find more Internet time. Hell I haven’t even had time to read one of my favorite bloggers! Sorry dude. They will be here for a week and after that he is being deployed back to Afghanistan, please keep him in your prayer’s if you will.

A little linky to share with you all. I love Podcasts and recently just found Keith and the Girl, hysterical crazy ass New Yorkers. They have different daily guests, though my personal fav is Patrice… love her voice and she’s funnier than hell. I figure I only have so many more years left and one of my objectives is to go out laughing even if that means it’s just some stranger’s Podcasts. So go forth and enjoy! (FYI, they always start the show with a prayer but it in no way sets the tone for the show.)

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Lahey Poetry

September 22, 2009 at 11:31 am (Quote of the Day) (, )

He grew up a little shitspark from the ole shitflame, then he turned into a shit bonfire, and then driven by the wings of his monumental ignorance he turned into a raging shitfire storm. If I get to be married to Barb I’ll have total control of Sunnyvale and then I can unlease a shitunami title wave that will engulf Ricky and extinguish his shitflames forever. And with any luck he’ll drown in the undershit of that wave, shitwaves.

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I’m such a dork

July 24, 2009 at 4:18 pm (Garage of Gloom, Oh Hell No) (, , , , )

In what appears to be my perpetual garage sale (my neighbor wanted to have it again this weekend), I met a Bering Sea fisherman!  His wife was looking at this key case that has sailors knots on the front of it and she told me her husband could tie all the knots, I asked if he was a sailor. That led into the conversation that he is an Inupiat Indian and was a fisherman and so I asked him if he fished the Bering Sea and he said yeah, for 21 years. I’m so easily entertained… you would think I met Sig, Keith, or Phil or something.

Mr. Wonderful wants food, guess I better go cook. Back soon.

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I don’t need to be fishing next to some knuckle-head

July 1, 2009 at 8:47 pm (Could I Be Any More Boring?, Garage of Gloom, Monkey Business) (, , , , , )

I haven’t abandoned the blog, just been very very busy, don’t bother me. JDrill is coming to visit for a week, I have the hiccups, a garage sale is about to commence, there’s a ho-down to attend this weekend, I’m dog sitting a deaf and blind dog that I have to watch like a shit hawk or she eats her own poop, it’s the Deadliest Catch season, and there are weeds that need to be pulled.

I’ll be back when I have a few extra minutes.

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If We Don’t All Die From the Flu, We’ll Probably Starve to Death

May 1, 2009 at 9:14 pm (Friday Soap Box) (, , , , , , , )

Oh Hell No.

To quote the great philosopher JDrill:

Don’t worry so much about the flu, worry about what they are hiding. Using a big pig scare to keep the sheep busy. Look the sky is falling.

You know there’s something else going on that’s bigger than the flu, possibly the whole Paki-Tali thing. Being lazy and becoming bored easily, I only keep half-assed abreast of the news but from what I have gathered that whole situation does not look good. 

I have a bigger news theory but there’s no way I’m posting it. It would be just my luck it spreads like wild fire around the internet then I get a knock at the door and am taken away to never again see the light of day. Hey, don’t laugh at my somewhat paranoid ass, crazier shit has happened in my life and I’ve learned to expect anything and everything.

In a very nearby city they have closed their entire school district until further notice because someone “affliated” with the district has a suspected case of the Oh Hell1No1 flu. From what I understand, schools are being recommended to close for two weeks. I just don’t see how these logistics are going to work because you know damn well people will still go to work, send their kids to daycare if it’s open, get on public transportation, etc., only to send the virus back to the schools when they reopen. Seriously, people can’t even cover their coughs with their shirt, cough into their elbow or not use your phone in an office when they’re sick.

So I play nice and follow the rules and Mr. Wonderful and I stay home, how the hell am I going to cope with that? I love my kid dearly but to be housebound with a bored child for two weeks… somebody better send some damn good somethin’ this way. Then there’s the whole I need to go to work to make money so I can buy food and pay my bills. See what I mean, if the flu doesn’t kill us we will all starve to death because we’ll have no money for food, everything will be closed or just the fear of leaving your damn house will be too much. YiYiYi!

Hell the flu I had a two weeks ago might have been Oh Hell1No1 for all I know, there’s been a lot of flu going around this area the past few weeks. How are they distinguishing it? Are they sending out people in hazmat suits to take saliva samples?

It boggles my mind at how quickly this situation has exploded. Even though I stated I was firing the media, it’s kinda like a soap opera and I can’t wait to tune in tomorrow to see what the news brings.

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